Jack's Smile
by SciFiobsession
Summary: Losing someone you love can be the single most painful thing you can encounter, but having someone else come into your life might be able to help you move forward. Ianto is hurt, but having Jack can help.


Jack's Smile

He smiled. Damn, could he ever smile. It was a smile that brought you to your knees before you would even know it. I suppose, if you live the life that he has lived, you pick up on how to kill the world with your smile, or at least how to get every and anything you want in the world. He has used that smile to bring down high members of the government. He has used that smile to stop mass genocide. He has used that smile to work his way up to this position no matter the cost, and get his way through it as well. Right now, however, he is using that smile at me. It's across the room a good twenty feet, but it still made the muscles in my stomach clench up tightly. I had made some quip about something, but I instantly forgot it. I just felt the shiver that went through my body as I looked up at that smile.

Gwen laughed too, but it took me a minute to notice. It must have been something mildly humorous. I doubt I'd even meant it to be, however. I smiled back shortly and looked back down at the stack of paperwork I was filling out on the couch.

"Ianto, can I see you in my office for a second?" Jack hadn't moved from where he was positioned. His form leaned against the railing, a smile still littering his features. Upon finishing his question, he started toward his office without even awaiting a response.

"Yeah, just give me one second," I yelled back. I signed the bottom of a U.N.I.T order form and placed it in a stack on Tosh's desk to be sent out. Standing up, I straightened out my wrinkled waist coat and approached Jack's office. The hub could use a clean. A few papers littered the floor, and a pizza box sat opened on a table.

I entered Jack's office. He wears himself so proudly and boldly, but upon entering, I could instantly tell that he was only pretending to fill out the forms on his desk. I coughed quietly to get his attention.

He looked up and smiled that damn smile again. "Ianto! Great, take a seat."

I obeyed.

He rounded the corner of his desk and sat on the edge of the front, facing me. He folded his arms over his chest. "So, what ever happened to all those missing persons forms I asked you to fill out nearly a week ago? They were supposed to go out yesterday. You know that there are going to be questions if we don't get those filled out in time." He had a smirk in the corner of his lips. I ignored it.

"Damn, they must have been at the bottom of the stack I am working on right now. I'm sorry, sir. I will get those finished by three." I couldn't believe I had forgotten them.

"Okay that's fine, Ianto. You need to pay more attention, though. This is potentially job-threatening." His voice was stern.

"I know, I'm sorry. I will stay late tonight to get them done. I'm sorry." Job threatening? He had made a lot of empty threats at a lot of people, but job threatening was never one of them. Job threatening was memory threatening.

"You had better stay extra late. They might take a while."

"I will. I'll get started on them now. What day did you get them to me? I should have had them scheduled for being done by yesterday morning. I'm sorry."

Jack faltered a moment, sensing my nervous tone of voice. His smirk almost twitched down for a moment. "Ianto…"

"Yes?" I pulled at the skin on the back of my left hand.

"Ianto, you are aware that I'm not being serious with you, right?"

"What?"

"Ianto, I never assigned you any missing persons forms."

"Then why did you call me in here?" As the words left my lips, I understood. This was one of his odd flirtatious endeavors. It was the kind that started out with him 'reprimanding' me in his office and ended with us making out in the kitchen. I had far too much on my mind to be open to that, and he had plenty of other people who would be interested in fulfilling his desires. Isn't there some kind of rule about how doing something once, or even a few times, doesn't guarantee that you will do it again in the future?

"I just," he paused again and looked at me. He was good at that too. It was like he could feel your thoughts and emotions if he just looked at you for a long enough period of time. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"You seem so sad today." He stood.

"Some might argue that that is my usual demeanor," I contested.

"Am I "some"?" He looked straight into my eyes.

"Jack, if you've just called me in here for a shag, you're going to have to look elsewhere. I know there are plenty of people who would be willing to be with you, and I am just the closest, most convenient body right now. I'm not interested." I went to stand. I had never taken such a tone with him. Today was simply not the day for this, though.

He looked taken aback. In fact, he took an actual step backwards. "That is a serious misjudgment."

"Is it?"

"Sit."

"Why?"

"That's an order." He said. I did sit. "Now tell me what is going on."

"It is just a hard day, Jack."

"Why?"

"I'm not a talker, you know that." I turned my face toward the floor.

He crouched down beside me, placing one hand on my clenched fist which lay on my knee. "I know that you're not much of a talker, but that doesn't mean you can't talk to me."

I sighed. I'd been so short with him, but he was being so respectful of me.

"I might be able to help, Ianto."

"You do."

"I do what?"

"You do help. Its just hard." I inhaled quickly and let the next words flow out smoothly through my breath. "It would have been a year since the day we chose for the wedding." I paused again. "It would have been Lisa and my anniversary."

"Oh Ianto," Jack said. He ran his thumb up and down on my own. He let the air fill with silence for a while. Through that moment, the air hung thickly. I heard the clock behind us tick rhythmically the near silent hum of his vortex manipulator. "I had no idea."

I snorted. "No one did, Jack." I paused. Jack only knew the half-cyberman Lisa who had tried to kill us. He never got to meet or even come to understand the beautiful, caring woman who I had fallen in love with.

"You would have loved her."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me about her, then."

I smiled a bit. "We met through work – a mutual friend set us up. She was the gentlest person I had ever met, but that definitely didn't mean she couldn't hold her own. She knew what she wanted and how to get it. I guess, in that way, you and her weren't all that different."

Jack laughed about that a little. I didn't know how he quite got me to open up so quickly. I usually didn't, but it was a nice change for once. He seemed to want to listen to what I was saying to him.

"She would paint her nails a bright red. She was stunning in red. It brought out her skin in such a beautiful way. She sang so beautifully, she understood my job, and you know what, Jack?" He gave a 'hmm?' "She was the first person in my life to ever ask me anything."

"What do you mean?"

"My sister and I grew up with a mother who was abused to the point of reclusiveness, a father who abused us all, and no one else. Lisa was the first one to ever ask me about my day. She asked me how I was liking the food I would order. She asked me if I liked the shows that were on TV. She engaged with me. She treated me like I was actually there with her. No one else did that."

"I think you're right; saying that I would have liked her."

"It's probably best you never got the chance," I said with a laugh. "You might have ended up as competition against me."

"She chose you, Ianto." He smiled again.

"You have to stop doing that."

"What?" he hesitated.

"You have to stop giving me that smile."

He looked confused. "Why?"

"Because it makes me forget what I am saying." I looked up and into his eyes for just a moment. It makes me forget what is happening."

He did it again. "Is that such a bad thing?" He took my hand and held it in both of his hands. My heart skipped a little bit.

I looked up into his eyes again. They searched me, and I could feel it. "Jack, you can't replace Lisa in my life. Nothing can replace Lisa," I started.

"Ianto I would never try to replace Lisa!" He cut me off.

"You didn't let me finish. You can't replace Lisa. Nothing can replace Lisa, but that's not what I need anyway. You make me happy, Jack. You make life make a little more sense and a little less sense at the same time." I tried to search him back this time.

He was the only thing in my life which gave me feeling. His presence was so powerful for me. I leaned forward to kiss him, both expecting that to be what he was looking for, and simply because I wanted to do so.

He tilted his head slightly to stop me. "Ianto, please never think I am using you. I will never use you." Jack looked from my eyes to my lips and back to the eyes again. "Okay?"

"Okay," I smiled.

He smiled back, and I kissed him. I kissed him because it made sense. He was soft and he smelled the way excitement felt. His muscles flexed against me. It wasn't the first time I kissed him, but it felt like it made more sense to kiss him every time I did.

Losing Lisa hurt, but having Jack did not.


End file.
